It's Not Over
by demurediva
Summary: Nikolas struggles to find a life after having the surgery; meanwhile, Emily has amnesia. Alexis tries to uncover the truth about Moreau and Robert shows up in Port Charles, unexpectedly.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter One

"Emily! Emily! Where are you?!" Nikolas yelled out at the top of his lungs.

"Why are you running away from me?"

He clumsily made his way through the trees of the park. He was desperately searching for any sign of her, but, of course, there was none.

"Why did you leave me?" He called out. Tears were now streaming down his cheeks and he dropped to his knees. "I need you! Don't you know I need you? How could you leave me?"

He was clearly running out of steam. His voice was becoming hoarse from all the yelling and his breath irregular from the crying. "Emily!" He managed to yell her name once again.

He closed his eyes for a moment and he could see her face, beautiful as ever. But, he couldn't touch her. He couldn't hear her voice. It was not enough.

"Emily!" He stood up to once again start his search through the park. "Where did you go?"

"Emily! Come back to me! Come back! Please, come back!" He wailed. "I don't want to live in a world without you in it!" He leaned against a nearby tree and wiped his eyes. A hand touched his back. For just a moment, it was her hand and she was there with him again. He turned around to find the face of his brother.

"What do you want?" Nikolas said grumpily.

"What are you doing, Nikolas?" Lucky asked gently.

"I'm looking for Emily. I can't find her." He said sounding like a little boy.

"Nikolas, you know that she's gone. It's been nine months."

"No. No, it's not true. She's not dead. She's out there somewhere. I just have to find her. I have to find her. She needs me and I need her."

"Nikolas, how much have you had to drink today?"

"I don't know."

"Well, I'm sure your blood alcohol level is pretty high right now. I got a call from a woman that some crazy man was tearing through the park. Do you know you can be detained for public drunkenness and disorderly conduct?"

"So what? Are you going to arrest me now, Lucky?"

"No, not if you go home, get some rest and don't have any more to drink today."

"I can't go home."

"Why not?"

"Because she's not there. I can't go home until I find her."

"Nikolas, you've got to pull yourself together. Emily wouldn't want you to live like this."

"How on earth would you know what she would want?"

"Emily was my best friend, you know. You're not the only one that loved her. You're not the only one that misses her."

"If you miss her so much, why won't you help me find her?"

"Emily's dead!" Lucky shouted, hoping to get through to him.

Nikolas was silent. A moment passed before Lucky continued.

"How are those sessions going with Lainey?"

"I had one this morning."

"And?"

"It's all pointless because in the end, Emily's still gone."

"You're right at that. And nothing, not even getting drunk as all hell and looking for her in the park is going to bring her back, so you have to learn how to live without her."

"And how do I do that, oh wise brother of mine?"

"I couldn't tell you. You have to figure it out on your own. It's like learning how to live without an arm. Step by step, you learn how to live without it, but you'll always wish you had it back."

"So, you're telling me I have to learn to live my life without my heart."


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

It was pitch black, or at least it seemed that way. It was hard to tell, really, considering the blindfold that had been tied securely around her head. Thankfully, she was not gagged. Her wrists were tied together tightly lying atop her stomach. Her ankles were bound to each other in a similar manner. She was laying flat on her back and it seemed as though she was in a moving vehicle. The road was bumpy and she heard the distinct sound of an engine. She wiggled a bit and discovered that she was in some sort of enclosure, like a box. The more aware she was of her surroundings, the more frightened she became.

Almost as frightening as the reality of her situation was the fact that she had no idea how she came to be in this place. She tried to think of what she was doing yesterday or last week. What enemies did she have? But the more she tried to recall what had happened, the more she discovered that she could not recall _anything._ She wanted to cry. How can a person, a grown adult, as she supposed she was, not remember a single thing? Whoever her captors were must have done this to her. But why?

Before wallowing in her confused misery much longer, she was brought back to her more immediate problem as the vehicle seemed to make a sharp turn. She involuntarily groaned at the sudden jerk.

"What was that?" She heard a male voice ask.

"Maybe she's waking up." A second voice mused.

"Where am I?" She finally broke her silence, imagining her situation couldn't get much worse than it already was.

"How could she be awake? We gave her enough morphine for a horse!"

"I don't know, but it doesn't matter. We're almost there."

"Almost where?" She said, hoping that there wasn't as much panic in her voice as she actually felt.

The car moved on in silence as before. They were obviously ignoring her. It seemed that the men were headed to the scheduled destination no matter what. After a few minutes, the car came to a stop. She heard the doors open and close and soon she was being lifted up. One man held her by the shoulders, the other around her feet.

"Where are you taking me?" She asked despite being almost positive that she would be ignored again. However, this time, something in her voice made one of the men take more notice of her.

"Don't worry, little lady, this will all be over soon."

"You didn't answer my question." She said, getting a little angry.

"You're going to go for a little swim." The second man said, cruelly teasing her.

"You're throwing me in a river?!"

"All I know is- you pissed off the wrong lady."

Suddenly, her feet fell to the ground. At first, she thought she was being dropped into the water as promised, but instead, she felt the hard thud of the ground as her upper body was dropped as well. She wondered if she was going to be kicked into it, but then she heard the men struggling. Something was happening, but she did not know what. There was not much time to wonder, however. She stood up as best she could, although, when she did so, she nearly fell back down. She felt very disoriented and dizzy, but she knew she had to get away. She lifted her hands to the blindfold and looked around finally able to see what was going on.

The men were, indeed, fighting. She didn't bother to stop and watch for much longer knowing that she would have to get as far away as she could. She ran, or more like hopped away, considering her feet were bound together. Behind her, it sounded as if the scuffle had ended one way or another and somebody was trying to catch up to her. Desperately trying to get away, she fell to the ground and the man caught her, despite her best efforts at escape. He grabbed her hands and pulled her up to her feet.

"Get away from me!" She screamed into the surrounding woods hoping that somebody might hear her.

The man let go of her and raised his hands above his head. "I'm not going to hurt you. I've decided to let you go."

"What?"

"Look, you're as good as dead anyway. There's no point in me actually finishing the job. Maybe you can start a new life somewhere."

She remained speechless at this little announcement. She had been geared up to escape and now he was just releasing her? And what did it all mean? Why, oh, why couldn't she remember anything? The man approached her and untied the ropes around her wrists, then the ones around her ankles.

"Where are we?"

"I can't tell you that, but if I were you, I would follow the main road and try and hitchhike somewhere. Just be grateful for the second chance at life I'm giving you. Don't bother trying to figure out what happened. It will only get both of us killed. Do you understand?"

"No. No, I don't. How could I not have questions? Who wants me dead?"

"I'm telling you, it doesn't matter. Let it go. If you just lie low, get a job somewhere, start a new life- you'll be fine, you'll be safe. The second you go looking for answers, you'll be drawing attention to yourself. She'll find you and when she does, she'll slit your throat- and mine, too, for letting you go."

"If _she_ is so dangerous, then why are you taking such a big risk in letting me go?"

"I shouldn't, but you remind me of someone I used to know. I couldn't go through with it." She saw some real tenderness in his eyes and decided that he was telling her the truth.

"Okay. I'm not going to ask any questions and I'll stay hidden."

"Good." He said simply and then walked off towards the van they had been traveling in.

"Hey, wait!" She called as he turned around. "Thanks!" The man simply nodded and then got in the van and drove away.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

"I heard about your little fiasco in the park last week."

"Yeah, I think that's what they call rock bottom."

"What happened?"

"I got drunk."

"There has to be more to it than that."

"I missed her. I was just missing her so much that it hurt. I mean real, physical pain."

"Are you taking the medication that I prescribed?"

"Yes… well, I'm trying."

"Nikolas, it's not going to help you if you don't take it."

"I know. It's just that I guess there's a part of me that likes the pain."

"What do you mean by that?"

"The pain reminds me of her. It tells me that we really did have an unbelievable connection."

"Are you afraid of forgetting her?"

"No. I could never forget her. She's a part of me, even if I don't see her anymore."

"Do you still regret having the operation?"

"I'm not sure… Of course, I had to have it. She told me that herself. And then, there's Spencer- he needs me, even if sometimes I can barely see straight- he still needs a dad. But, at least when I was hallucinating, I still had a connection to her. I was living in this little perfect bubble."

"A perfect bubble that was killing you and making you act like a monster- don't forget that."

"I know. I know all that. So, I know it had to be done, just like I have to move on with my life. And I have to take care of my son. And I have to not run through parks and scare little children."

Lainey smiled. "It's good to see that you still have a sense of humor."

"I don't really. I just fake it."

"Well, you know, sometimes, you have to fake it. You might feel like you're just going through the motions for a little while and then slowly but surely, you will start to feel more and more normal. You just have to take those first few steps."

"And what steps would those be?"

"Take your medication for one. There is nothing wrong with feeling calmer. Moving on with your life does not mean forgetting Emily. In fact, you'd be showing honor to her memory. Then, of course, you could get out more. You said yourself you spend all of your time working or at Wyndemere."

"Are you suggesting I start dating again?"

"Not if you're not ready, which I don't think you are. No. What I'm suggesting is you go out to dinner with your brother or go visit Alexis and the girls. Take Spencer on a play date with Cameron and Jake. Try to do some of the things you would be doing if Emily were still alive."

Nikolas chuckled bitterly. "If she were still alive, I would probably be spending all of my time with her."

"I think you should try and spend at least two evenings a week away from home. Consider that your homework."

"I'll try."

Nikolas left Lainey's office after the hour long session. He made his way to the elevator when he saw _her_. She always found a way to "bump into him."

"Hi, Nikolas." She said with that toothy grin of hers.

"Hello, Nadine." He nodded, as he pushed the elevator button. And, of course, it was just his luck that the doors did not open.

"So, how is everything?" She said with irritating sympathy. It was a tone Nikolas was all too familiar with.

"Fine, fine. And how are you doing?"

"Really great, actually. My shift ends in ten minutes and I was planning on going bowling with some friends. We do this thing every Tuesday where we get together and bowl, but it's not like we're in a league or anything. To tell you the truth, we're not actually even very good, but it's fun because the alley plays 70's music and they break out a disco ball."

Fortunately for Nikolas, the elevator doors opened and he quickly stepped in. He interrupted her rambling, "Well, I hope that you have fun. Good night."

He let out a deep breath once he was alone in the elevator. If the elevator had taken just a few seconds longer, he knew that an invitation to go bowl was coming. He didn't know why Nadine was trying so hard to pursue him. She knew full well that he was no where close to being over Emily, but still, she insisted on practically throwing herself at him every chance she got. It wasn't that Nadine was that bad, aside from the extreme perkiness and less than stellar vocabulary. She just wasn't Emily. And just the thought of going on a date with her felt like cheating on Emily.

That night, Nikolas went for a midnight stroll in the gardens. Ever since Emily died, he could barely sleep at night. Of course, Lainey had prescribed sleeping pills, but he didn't like taking them because they prevented him from having dreams. And he wanted to have dreams because, sometimes, he would dream of Emily. He looked at the stars and remembered all the late night walks they had taken together to just look at the stars. She had looked so beautiful in the moonlight. He then wondered if somehow, someway, Emily was up there, watching over him and hoping that he would somehow pull himself together.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four

"You are an intriguing woman, Alexis. I've never met anyone quite like you." Jerry said with his sexy accent.

Alexis raised her eyebrows, "Should I take that as a compliment?"

"Definitely. I consider myself an excellent judge of character and its not everyday I meet someone who can surprise me. You're amazing."

"Jerry, don't think that you can charm your way out of what we were talking about…"

Jerry leaned in closer to Alexis, she cleared her throat, and then kept talking, "You need to tell me everything about… what are you doing?" 

Jerry brushed a strand of Alexis' hair away from her face. "I'm just admiring the view."

"Jerry, you can't…" And just at that moment, Jerry kissed her. Alexis couldn't help herself and let him kiss her. Despite whatever misgivings she had about him, she was extremely attracted to him. Common sense, however, once again took the better of her. She pulled away.

"Jerry, you need to tell me everything you know about Mr. Moreau or I am going to have to send out a warrant for your arrest."

"I can't do that."

"The police have a lot of evidence against you and now that I am the district attorney, I can't be your lawyer. You are looking at years in prison."

"If they can find me."

"So, you're going to run?"

"You'd be surprised at how easy it is to disappear."

"Okay, then I can't stop you. I just don't understand why you won't tell me about Moreau. Why are you willing to give up your freedom- because that's what you would be doing if you went in hiding- for this man? If you just tell me, I could get to the bottom of this and the justice system could actually work, and the police could put the right person behind bars. From what I've been hearing, this Moreau is a very evil man, and I don't want a person like that walking around the streets of Port Charles."

"Alexis, you need to let this go. The less you know about Moreau, the better."

"I think that you've gotten to know me enough to know that I can't just 'let this go.' I'm going to get to the bottom of this whether you tell me anything or not."

"Damn it, Alexis! We're talking about your life here! And probably the lives of your two very lovely little girls! She's on a quest for domination and she will get rid of anything and anyone that stands in her way!" Jerry yelled.

"Who is 'she'?" Alexis asked, calmly.

"What?" The blood rose to Jerry's face. It was infuriating how Alexis somehow managed to crack his defenses so easily.

"You said 'she'. We were talking about Moreau, who is by all accounts, a man, and you started talking about a woman. What is going on here?"

Jerry put his hands on Alexis' shoulders and moved his face within inches of hers. 

"Alexis, I'm going to tell you for the last time- you keep investigating this, you will die. Please, please, go against your nature and don't be curious. Send out the arrest warrant and forget you ever knew me or that there was a Moreau."

Jerry kissed Alexis on the forehead and walked out of her office.

Alexis picked up her phone and began dialing a number that she did not think she would ever have to use.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five

That morning Nikolas woke up. There was just a moment of every morning when he would forget that Emily was no longer with him. In that split second between dreaming and awake, she would be in bed beside him. He could even smell her. He heard her breath. Then, he would open his eyes and have the moment of the day he always dreaded. It was the moment he realized she wasn't there, and worse still- the reason why. She was gone. It was a horrible way to wake up every morning.

He got up and threw some clothes on. There was a time that he took great pride in his appearance, but not anymore. He had a butler who at least made sure that his clothes fit and didn't have wrinkles. Lately, Nikolas had been noticing that Alfred had begun to lay out outfits for him to wear. Nikolas supposed Alfred was tired of seeing him in mismatched clothes. Despite Alfred's efforts to make him look presentable, he still could not prevail upon Nikolas to shave. Ever since the operation, Nikolas had grown a beard. Perhaps it would grow to be longer than his knees. He hardly knew, but it was just another way he reminded himself of what he had lost. 

He hadn't gotten a haircut either, but that was hardly noticeable considering just a little over a month ago, he had had to shave off all the hair on his head for the operation. And his clothes hardly fit anymore. He had lost quite a bit of weight since her death. He would forget to eat quite often. But, the clothes he did wear, were still in perfect condition and still the brand names he always wore. He was still, after all, a prince, for all that was worth.

Nikolas had decided to take Lainey's advice and get out more. If _anybody_ could possibly help him get through this, it would be his family. He had called and asked Lucky to meet him for lunch last night. Lucky had been surprised at the idea, to say the least, but he sounded excited, as well. All of the people in Nikolas' life were pulling for him, and he knew that. That was a comfort. 

They had agreed to meet at the Metro Court. When Nikolas arrived, Lucky was already waiting for him. 

"Hey, Nikolas."

"Hello." Nikolas greeted his brother and sat down.

"I wanted to apologize for last week. You didn't need me threatening to lock you up. I think I was a little too hard on you."

"Don't worry about it, Lucky. I needed that. I was acting like a lunatic and I don't even have a tumor anymore to use as an excuse."

"It's okay. We all grieve in different ways."

"Yes, and I think I've finally learned that I should not drink and grieve at the same time. I haven't had a drop of alcohol since that day."

"Good. I'm sure that helps."

"So, give me someone besides myself to think about. What's new with you?"

"Maxie's moving in with me."

"Wow. That sounds pretty serious."

"It's getting there."

"Is Mac okay with everything?"

"Not exactly, but I understand. I think he's just afraid that I'm going to hurt her again."

"Well, last time you were with her, you were in love with somebody else. Are you still in love with Elizabeth, now?"

"I think that I'll always love Elizabeth, but too much has happened between us. There was a time when we were perfect for each other, but that time has passed. We're over. I know that. I can't spend the rest of my life waiting for a reunion- I'm not even sure I'd want one after all the lies and pain. I have to accept what is and move on."

"Unlike me, right?"

"I didn't say that. You're trying, Nikolas, and that counts for something. You had the operation. You're going to see Lainey. You even gave up alcohol. You're getting there. And you're strong. You will pull through this. You'll make a new life."

"I hope so." Nikolas said quietly.

"So, where have you been? You can't just be staring at the walls at that mausoleum all day."

"No, no. I'm trying to get the Cassadine finances in order again. I've been really negligent for almost a year now and things are an absolute mess."

"That bad, huh?"

"Well, it's nothing like it was a few years ago. I don't need to marry anyone for their money again, but let's just say, I couldn't have neglected my business for very much longer."

"Do you need any help?"

"No, I actually enjoy the work. It's a good distraction."

"And Spencer?"

"I'm really glad to have him home again."


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter Six

Robin sat down for a moment to rest her back. It was amazing to her how many more breaks she needed now that she was seven months pregnant. What she needed was to slow down and cut back her hours, but, of course, she could not do that. Robin closed her eyes for a second. A nap sounded really good.

"Hello, darling."

Even with her eyes closed, Robin would know that voice anywhere. Tired as she was, she jumped to her feet to embrace her father.

"Dad, what are you doing here?" Robert pulled away from his daughter, but retained her hands in his.

"Well, look at you! You're so big- I can't believe I'm going to be a grandfather. How's she doing?"

"You think it's going to be a girl, huh?"

"I would bet money on it. So, am I right?"

"I don't know. We decided that we didn't want to know the sex of the baby."

"We?"

"Patrick and I- Patrick Drake is the father."

"Oh, you know, I always thoughts you were too good for that guy."

"I have to say he's been really good through all of this, but enough about me- what are you doing here? Or can't I know that?"

"I'm just here to see my little girl."

"As much as I'd like to believe that, I know there's more to it than that, but that's okay. I'm just glad to see you. How long are you going to be in town?"

"I'm not sure yet."

"No straight answers, of course. Well, I have to be getting back to work. I'm not even scheduled for a break for another hour. Do you want to have lunch when I'm done?"

"You bet." 

Robin and Robert gave each other another hug. Robert soaked the image of his pregnant daughter in, as she walked away. He found it unbelievable that his baby was going to have a baby.

Robert approached the nurses station. In his usual style, he began to flirt with the nurse who was stationed there. When he needed to be, Robert could be quite charming. So charming, in fact, that the nurse on duty did not seem to notice the device he set next to the computer while they were talking.

Just an hour later, Robin approached her father, as promised. 

"I think Devlin could be the key to the whole thing." Robert said to whoever was on the other end of his phone. Robert turned around, noticing his daughter. 

"I gotta go." He snapped his phone shut.

Robin quickly looked around her and asked in a low voice, "Are you investigating Dr. Devlin?"


End file.
